If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I deserve this hangover.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
