when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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