Me. At least after what I've been through.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I made him laugh his dick is mine
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
