her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think people are normalizing furries
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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