i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
