I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
