So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
