This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
