Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
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Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
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I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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