Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
