I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
