What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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