Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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