Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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