If i come over, it means nothing
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
