Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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