is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
