Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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