I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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