just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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