they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
