in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
