Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
