I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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