i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
