I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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