im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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