I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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