the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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