they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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