garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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