k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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