carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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