I can tuck mytits in my pants
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
