Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
