you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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