i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
