seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
