if i died would you start the facebook group?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
