i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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