you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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