If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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