So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
