she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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