Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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