i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
