I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize