Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
