My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Holy sore nipples Batman
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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