That's intense
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
