i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
