she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
