I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
