You're my little dorito
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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