Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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